I Like to Speak Proper(ly)

October 26, 2009 at 9:57 am (Rants) (, , , , )

While on fall break this year, I decided to take one day to visit my mom at her work.  She is an eighth grade teacher, something that requires more patience than I could ever hope to acquire.  Anyway, at the end of 7th period, a boy in the class told my mom that he needed to head to his language arts class because he likes to “speak proper.”  My jaw almost dropped.  Not that I don’t have any friends that obliterate the English language just as terribly as this eighth grader.  I definitely do.  Still, it amazed me that this student was actually using improper grammar in his quest to explain the importance of speaking properLY.

This of course brings me to grammar lesson number 3: The difference between adjectives and adverbs.

  • Adjectives modify nouns (or other substantives).
  • Adverbs modify verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs.

While I don’t personally feel like this should be a terribly tough concept to grasp, it seems to be quite difficult.

Basic example:  I was doing research for a professor, which included grading hundreds of tests that we had given to elementary and middle school students.  Well, I was trying to pull some of the tests out of my bag the other day, and I basically got the biggest, most painful paper-cut in the history of life.  In describing the pain my little finger was feeling at the time, I could say a couple different things.

Holy frick!  That cut is bad!

  • In this case, I’m mostly saying that the cut itself is deep, painful, etc.  The point is, I am using the adjective, bad, to modify the noun, cut.  So I had a cut.  What kind of cut do I have?  I have a bad cut.

Holy frick!  That hurts so badly!

  • In this case, the adverb, badly, is modifying the verb, hurt.  So the cut hurts.  How much does it hurt?  It hurts badly.

By the way, when people ask how you are, you’re most likely well.  If you’re good, then you are describing what kind of person you are, as in saying you are kind, cool, etc.  “Well” actually describes how you are doing. If it sounds weird to say, “I am well,” then you are also welcome to say, “I am doing well.”  There is absolutely no confusion with the proper way of describing how you are doing instead of just how you are.


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Ashley, the Stalker

October 23, 2009 at 5:29 pm (Fun(ny), Life, Rants) (, , )

Ok so as my first post stated, I have made a definite effort this summer to not suck so much at using computers, and I’d say I’ve definitely made some improvements.  I know how to do a lot more cool things than I could before, and I know what a lot of terms mean that I did not previously know.  That, however, is not what this post is about.  This is about yet another reason it sucks to know nothing about computers and the humiliating misunderstandings that can result from it…

I’m obviously new to this whole “blogging thing,” and really wasn’t sure I wanted to do it until my friend, Jackie, convinced me.  Plus, she had a fun blog that I liked reading every now and then, as well as a few other friends of mine.  I figured there was no reason not to.  I didn’t really have much going on this summer besides baby sitting/nannying, anyway, so I knew I’d have plenty of time to figure things out.

So, yes, I’ve spent a lot of time on the computer this summer.  Most of my computer time was spent on search engines, Facebook, Twitter, my dashboard, Youtube, weather.com (my personal favorite), the Furman site, and Pandora.  So my computer (which already drives me crazy) automatically put those sites on my “top sites” screen, meaning basically that a miniature of every one of those pages showed up every single time I got online.  Well, obviously I did not just list twelve site, yet my computer’s top site page has space for twelve.  It therefore automatically fills in the extra space with other sites I “use frequently,” even if that only means once a week or every other week.  I’m obviously not very “computer cultured” so the extra space got filled in with some of my friends’ blogs and my church’s blog.  It wasn’t a big deal to me or anything how my computer chose to fill in the extra space.  I really didn’t care because [I thought] it really didn’t affect me.  I was wrong…

So the day before I had to leave to come back to school, while talking to my friend, he decided he really needed to tell me something.  He first explained that he didn’t necessarily have the same opinion as everyone else (though I had no clue what opinion this was) and that he was going to do his best to explain this particular situation to me “as cautiously as possible.”  I was kind of freaking out at that point, because I had a long list of ideas running through my head of what could possibly be wrong.

He surprised me, however, by going on to ask how often I look at one of our friend’s blog.  I was so caught off guard that I really didn’t even have a clue what to say.  I had no idea how often I looked at different people’s blogs (I really don’t even have that many friends with blogs), and I couldn’t even really remember the last time I had looked at this particular blog.  He went on to explain that there is apparently some way of tracking the IP (internet protocol — yes, I had to look that abbreviation up) addresses of people that look at your blog, and they were just curious as to why I looked at this one so much.

I was obviously humiliated at first, thinking that my friends must really think I have no life and that all I do is read blogs.  I didn’t quite understand why it was so weird to look at the blog once every week or so, but I didn’t want to ask questions, either.  I figured it must have been some computer social rule of which I had just been completely unaware.

Fast forward five more minutes of talking to the point where I find that they apparently think I am reading the same blog multiple times every hour, maybe even somewhere around 100 times in a day.  I don’t really know.

What I soon realized is that because it showed up on my “top sites” screen, which is my homepage, it was showing up that I looked at my friend’s blog EVERY SINGLE TIME I GOT ONLINE ON MY COMPUTER.  Yep, every time.  Every time I looked anything up online.  Every time I checked the weather.  Every time I checked Facebook.  Every time I listened to Pandora.  Every time I logged onto Twitter.  Even every time I got on to update or change something on my blog.  Every time.  Oh, or even if I clicked on one website but then clicked my home page button again so I could choose another.  Yep, it showed up that I was looking at the blog.

So here’s the deal…I was at first completely humiliated by this.  I was so embarrassed that people actually thought I was so obsessed that I was checking the same blogs (most of which don’t get updated more than once a week or so) that many times a day.  I just kept thinking what a sketchy person everybody thought I was.

My next thought, however, was more along the lines of “What the hell was everyone thinking to actually legitimately believe that I looked at someone’s blog at 8:37, 8:43, 8:56, 9:14, and so one throughout just about every day, but still not say anything to me?”  I mean, really?!  My friends legitimately believed that I was stalking one of them…like creepy stalking…for months…and no one told me.  One description given to me was, “Ok, so you know how when you check your email, it will say like ‘1-50’ and then have an arrow to click to the next page of emails?  Well, it would be like 6 pages of you checking his blog before it’d even show a different person.”

Yep, my friends pretty much thought I needed professional help, and yet no one told me.  Plus, they still hung out with me all summer, thinking I was a sketcher!  I just couldn’t believe that

  1. They actually knew me really well (these were some of my closest friends) and yet, knowing my personality, actually had it in them to think “Yeah, if any of our friends was going to stalk somebody, we could see it being Ashley.”
  2. They were stilling willing to hang out with me.  I would be WAY to sketched out to hang out with someone as creepy as they thought I was.
  3. They didn’t mention it to me or anyone else.  I’m just saying, if I ever were that messed up, I would prefer that my friends mention it to someone so I could get help or something.

But yeah…funny…weird…awkward…that’s basically how my life works.

And P.S. I have never stalked anyone in my entire life.

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